The Top 10 Worst Movies I Saw in 2020

On December 31, 2020January 8, 2021 By 18cinemalane1 Comment

While I saw more good movies than bad this year, I wasn’t able to avoid some stinkers. Now that I’ve published my best movies of the year list, I can now discuss which movies were the worst ones I saw in 2020! I watch movies in the hopes of them being good. However, some stories turn out better than others. As I have stated before on my blog, my worst films of the year lists are not meant to be mean-spirited or negative toward anyone’s opinions/cinematic preferences. These lists are just ways for me express my opinion in an honest and informed way. Similar to my best movies of 2020 list, I will start this post with my dishonorable mentions and then move on to the official list!

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Dishonorable Mentions

Working Miracles, Her Deadly Reflections, The Cabin, Thicker Than Water, Touched by Romance, The Wrong Wedding Planner, Murder in the Vineyard, Jane Doe: Yes, I Remember It Well, JL Family Ranch: The Wedding Gift, Is There a Killer on my Street?, and Stolen in Plain Sight

10. Angel on My Shoulder

When choosing which movie would end up in the tenth spot, it was between The Cabin and Angel on My Shoulder. Because I had higher expectations for the 1946 movie, that’s the one that was placed on this list. The overall film is painfully average, as I said in my review. Even though there is a clear conflict, it takes quite some time for that to be resolved. The personal journey of the protagonist, Eddie, is stunted. This is due to the character spending most of the story as an unchanged man. After watching Angel on My Shoulder, it makes me thankful that a story about a dog going to heaven was executed so well.

Take 3: Angel on My Shoulder Review

9. Jane Doe: Vanishing Act

In 2020, I watched most of the movies from Hallmark’s Jane Doe series. Within the nine-film collection, the first chapter is certainly the worst. What makes a good mystery movie is a strong sense of excitement. This is a quality that Jane Doe: Vanishing Act was, sadly, devoid of. Everyone involved with this project looked like their hearts were not fully invested in what they doing. It was as if they wanted to get the film done and over with just to move on to something else. While I continued on with the series, it was in the hopes that the next film would be better than the introduction. If you plan on creating a series, this is not the way you get an audience invested in it.

8. My Husband’s Deadly Past

There are two kinds of Lifetime movies; those that are surprisingly good and those that are predictably unenjoyable. My Husband’s Deadly Past perfectly fits into the latter category. Even though I found the inclusion of psychology/hypnosis to be interesting, the story’s focus on ripping off the 1993 movie, The Fugitive, overshadows any of the film’s strengths. The protagonist in My Husband’s Deadly Past is the type of character that makes one poor decision after another. It also doesn’t help that the movie contains a few romantic moments that feel out of place within the overall tone. Two other films on this list make the same major mistake My Husband’s Deadly Past did. But, to avoid spoilers, I’ll talk about them more later.

7. Out of the Woods

I can honestly say Out of the Woods is one of the most meandering films I’ve ever seen. It takes so long for the story to get to its intended point, that story points are either completely ignored or are not fully developed. One example is how a white wolf continuously crosses paths with the protagonist. No explanation is given as to what the purpose of this wolf was or whether it was real. Another disappointment is how Native American culture is glossed over. Native American stories are rarely found in Hallmark’s library, so it is a letdown when a film containing Native American culture doesn’t work out. If you want to watch an Ed Asner led Hallmark movie with similar ideas and themes, I’d recommend the 2008 movie, Generation Gap. It does a better job at telling a story of two people trying to understand each other.

6. Mystery Woman: At First Sight

Before there was Hailey Dean, there was Samantha Kinsey from Hallmark’s Mystery Woman series. This early collection from the network is one where I’ve seen most of its installments. Out of the movies I have watched, Mystery Woman: At First Sight is the one I disliked the most. Both of the overarching mysteries in this story are poorly written. They are also overshadowed by the drama within the plot. Mystery Woman: At First Sight is the seventh movie in this series, which is a shame because its previous chapters created an enjoyable cinematic run. I’m not sure how much directorial experience Kellie Martin had prior to working on this project. Even though I think it would be interesting to see her direct a Hailey Dean Mysteries movie, her effort on Mystery Woman: At First Sight was not her strongest.

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5. Captain Sabertooth and the Treasure of Lama Rama

It breaks my heart how this movie disappointed me so much. In fact, Captain Sabertooth and the Treasure of Lama Rama is the most disappointing movie I saw in 2020. It copied Pirates of the Caribbean’s homework without trying to understand what made that trilogy of films work. Also, for a movie called Captain Sabertooth and the Treasure of Lama Rama, Captain Sabertooth himself sat on the sidelines of his own story. Pinky was a likable character, but making him the protagonist made the title seem misleading. I just hope this film doesn’t dissuade other studios from creating their own pirate narratives.

Take 3: Captain Sabertooth and the Treasure of Lama Rama Review

4. Anniversary Nightmare

Remember when I said there were two films that made the same major mistake My Husband’s Deadly Past did? Well, Anniversary Nightmare is one of them. Like My Husband’s Deadly Past, Anniversary Nightmare rips off The Fugitive. But this Lifetime title is so bad, it is, at times, laughable. Both the acting and writing are poor. All of the movie’s flashback scenes are terribly filmed, captured through heavy “shaky cam” and covered in a red film. These two factors made it difficult to see what was happening on screen when a flashback arrived. I haven’t seen a Lifetime movie this bad in quite some time. If you’re interested in participating in Taking Up Room’s So Bad It’s Good Blogathon, Anniversary Nightmare might be an option.

3. I’m Not Ready for Christmas

I didn’t see as many Christmas movies this year as I did in 2019. But I can confidently say that 2015’s I’m Not Ready for Christmas is the worst Christmas film I saw in 2020. While it doesn’t rip off The Fugitive, the movie does place more emphasis on being a pointless, Christmas remake of Liar Liar, a well-known title from the ‘90s. Therefore, I’m Not Ready for Christmas also makes the same mistake A Cheerful Christmas did last year. There were parts of this story that didn’t make sense. Even the title, I’m Not Ready for Christmas, had nothing to do with the events in the plot. When you look past the typical Christmas aesthetic Hallmark can’t get enough of, you realize the story itself isn’t Christmas-y. If the creative team behind this project knew their script wasn’t exclusive to the Christmas season, they should have focused on the messages and themes of the holiday, like If You Believe did sixteen years prior. For their New Year’s Resolution, maybe Hallmark and Lifetime should move away from famous ‘90s films as their source of inspiration.

Take 3: I’m Not Ready for Christmas Review

2. Marriage on the Rocks

This movie was so bad, it honestly made me feel uncomfortable. That was because the film’s overarching view on marriage and divorce was so one-sided and skewed. I’ve been told Marriage on the Rocks was originally intended to be a satire. Sadly, that’s not the movie I ended up seeing. What I got instead was a comedy that I didn’t find very funny. The “comedy of errors” direction the screenwriter took just made the character’s situations more complicated, as most of the errors do not receive a satisfying resolution. It’s also a film that feels longer than its designated run-time. If you have never seen any of Frank Sinatra’s, Dean Martin’s, or Deborah Kerr’s movies before, please don’t let Marriage on the Rocks be your starting point.

Take 3: Marriage on the Rocks Review

1. Twentieth Century

For most of 2020, I thought Marriage on the Rocks would be the worst movie I saw this year. That was until Twentieth Century came along and proved me wrong. Where Marriage on the Rocks made me uncomfortable, Twentieth Century made me appalled. The fact Lily and Oscar’s relationship was so abusive in a movie classified as a “romantic comedy” serves as one example. Last time I checked, unhealthy relationships were not funny or romantic. To Marriage on the Rocks’ credit, the story featured characters that didn’t support the film’s narrative. Even though, more often than not, they were looked down upon, they always stood up for what they believed in and tried to help the main characters see the fault in their ways. With Twentieth Century, however, there were no “voices of reason”. None of the characters faced accountability whenever they did something wrong or made any attempt to change their ways. When I reflect on this movie, I question what the creative team was trying to tell its audience. But based on my reaction to the final product, maybe I don’t want to know.

Take 3: Twentieth Century Review

*Twentieth Century* poster created by Columbia Pictures.

Have fun in 2021!

Sally Silverscreen

The Top 10 Worst Clichés from Hallmark Movies

On September 18, 2019September 18, 2019 By 18cinemalane7 Comments

Last month, when I released my review of Swept from the Sea, it became my 250^th published post! As I made that realization, I knew that I had to do something to commemorate the occasion. My most popular post on 18 Cinema Lane is my list of “The Top 10 Worst Hallmark Movies of All Time”, with 3,019 views and counting! Because this particular list brings readers and followers to my blog, I thought it would be fitting to create a similar post. While other people on the internet have talked about worst clichés from a variety of genres, I have never seen anyone discuss the worst clichés from Hallmark movies. That’s where this list comes in, as I talk about the clichés that I am not a fan of seeing in Hallmark’s films. These clichés are not the worst because the clichés themselves are bad, but because they are poorly or overly used. My list is in no way meant to be mean-spirited or negative. Also, this list will not include a Dishonorable Mentions section, unlike my aforementioned post. Before I begin, I just wanted to say that the clichés I’ve selected are based on my opinion.

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The “we’re not together” cliché

This cliché has been found in movies from Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. Either the male and female protagonist tells someone that they’re not together after someone assumes that they’re dating or they try to convince people that they’re not in a relationship. The way these characters share their relationship status comes across like they’re embarrassed by the possibility of being mistaken for a couple. A recent example of this is one of the latest mystery films, Witness to Murder: A Darrow Mystery. I’m not as bothered by this cliché as I am with the other ones on this list, hence the reason why it’s featured at number ten. But, whenever this cliché is included, it seems like the characters are making a big deal over nothing. In real life, I’m pretty sure that these individuals would just tell others about the state of their relationship in the calmest and honest way possible.

The “moving out of the way for an oncoming vehicle” cliché

In most films on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, the protagonist is in danger of getting hit by an oncoming vehicle. Fortunately, they are rescued just in time by being pushed out of the vehicle’s way. I understand that a moment like this is meant to create suspense for the story. But this cliché makes the protagonist look like they are willing to overlook simple and important safety precautions, such as looking both ways before crossing the street. Throughout the Aurora Teagarden series, the audience has come to know the titular character as an intelligent detective. But, when the “moving out of the way for an oncoming vehicle” cliché was incorporated into Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: An Inheritance to Die For, it makes it seem like her intelligence is being belittled to a certain extent.

The “it’s not what you think” cliché

This cliché can usually be found in Hallmark Channel movies. Either the male or female protagonist will overhear pieces of a conversation or discover small tidbits of information, causing them to assume the worst. Instead of having a civil and respectful conversation with the other person, they will accuse that person of something they didn’t do and distance themselves from them. More often than not, the person who became upset has those feelings for ridiculous reasons. Fortunately, there are Hallmark movies that try to use this cliché in a way that complements the story. Two good examples are Easter Under Wraps and Rome in Love, where the people who discover the information have a legitimate reason to be upset. It’s also understandable how someone could get upset by the information that the movie presents. While I’m still not a fan of this cliché, I’m always appreciative when a cliché is not just put in a movie for the sake of being there.

The “male and female protagonist always fall in love with each other” cliché

While I’m not bothered by this cliché like I am with others on the list, the idea of the male and female protagonist always falling in love with each other is kind of getting repetitive. As soon as you see the movie poster, you know how the relationship will turn out. One of my favorite Hallmark movies is This Magic Moment. In that film, the male protagonist falls in love with the main female supporting character, who happens to be his childhood best friend. Meanwhile, the female protagonist ends up becoming single at the end of the movie, a decision that she’s perfectly content with. I really wish that Hallmark would incorporate more surprises like that. Whether they tell a similar story to This Magic Moment or having the female protagonist fall in love with the main male supporting character, the story would be a breath of fresh air.

The “protagonist’s ex showing up unannounced” cliché

A Hallmark Channel movie that adopts this cliché is The Story of Us. In this film, the protagonist’s ex, portrayed by Sam Page, showed up unannounced in her life. That aspect of the story worked, especially since Sam Page’s character was the male protagonist. This allowed both of the protagonists to reconnect as a couple as well as giving the audience an opportunity to watch their relationship grow. But the protagonist’s other ex, a dentist who moved away to Texas, also shows up unannounced. For me, this part of the film didn’t work because it didn’t feel like it went anywhere. It was a waste of a character and subplot, especially since we knew that the female protagonist, portrayed by Maggie Lawson, had no intention of pursuing a relationship with him. This is not the first Hallmark movie to feature this cliché and it’s highly likely not going to be the last. But I still feel that if the male or female protagonist has no plans to get back together with their ex, then the cliché is pointless.

Aurora Teagarden 11 poster — *Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: An Inheritance to Die For* poster created by Hallmark Movies & Mysteries and Crown Media Family Networks. Image found at https://www.crownmediapress.com/Shows/PRShowDetail?SiteID=143&FeedBoxID=845&NodeID=307&ShowType=&ShowTitle=Aurora+Teagarden+Mysteries+An+Inheritance+to+Die+For.

The “planning a wedding in an unrealistic time period” cliché

Throughout my one year of blogging, this cliché is the one that I’ve probably talked about the most. As the cliché’s title indicates, it’s when an engaged couple decides to plan a wedding in an unrealistic time period, just so they won’t have to wait so long to get married. I find this cliché to not only be unrealistic, but also unhealthy. Weddings have the ability to cause stress and anxiety, yet every time this cliché is incorporated into a film, these aspects of wedding planning never get talked about. I’d like to see a Hallmark movie address how not everyone can plan such a large-scale event in six months or less. But, until then, Hallmark has created movies that effectively use this cliché in a way that fits within that cinematic world. Two examples are Wedding of Dreams and The Good Witch’s Gift, where the engaged couple has the money and resources that allow them to plan a wedding in a short amount of time. What also works in these movies’ favor is how this cliché is not the primary focus of the story. They include other interesting subplots to help move the plot along.

The “business person is a jerk and/or out of touch” cliché

Whenever this cliché appears in a Hallmark film, I noticed that it’s mostly the businessmen who are dating the female protagonist that embody this cliché. Either they don’t act as nice as the male protagonist or they are “out of touch” with what’s important to the female protagonist. Because of this, the female protagonist ends up not falling in love with them. The reason why this cliché is placed higher than others on my list is how outdated it seems. After receiving films like the All of My Heart trilogy and Love Unleashed, the “business person is a jerk/out of touch” cliché doesn’t really feel like it has a purpose anymore. It also seems like this character’s sole purpose is to make the male protagonist look better in the eyes of the female protagonist. I’m surprised that Hallmark still adopts this cliché from time to time, especially since the Hallmark company is run by business people. I doubt that they would want to see their profession portrayed in a negative light.

The “building condos is bad” cliché

Despite the many years that I’ve spent watching Hallmark movies, I’ve never understood the purpose of this cliché. In films that incorporate this cliché, the people in a small town are mad because a beloved piece of land or business will be replaced by a series of condos. The person planning on building the condos is either the film’s villain or just an antagonist. When this cliché was placed in Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: A Very Foul Play, it felt out of place. While it only played a minor role in the movie, it didn’t have any significance on the plot. Why would anyone be against the building of condos? Condos would create homes, which would also create a place for someone to belong and spend time with family. These ideas have been promoted by Hallmark for years, so having a cliché that contradicts that seems strange. I am waiting for the day when Hallmark makes a movie where the protagonist or a member of the protagonist’s family happily lives in a condo.

The “royal movie” clichés

You’re probably wondering how I’m able to get away with putting so many clichés in one spot. Well, when it comes to Hallmark’s “royal” movies, these clichés usually come in a set. From the European prince with a British accent to the royal family not approving of the relationship between their family member and a “commoner”, these clichés make me discouraged by Hallmark’s lack of creativity. In an editorial called, “When Creativity is Squandered: The Wasted Potential on Hallmark’s Good Witch”, I talked about how these clichés prevented an episode of Good Witch from reaching its creative potential. The effects of these movies are now spilling into the television shows, holding the screenwriters back from exploring different methods of story-telling. My favorite movie from 2018 was Royally Ever After. One of the reasons is how this movie used as few “royal movie” clichés as possible. The creative team’s desire to move away from most of these clichés made the movie such a pleasant surprise for me. When Hallmark has created about twelve of these movies and about one or two of them actually try something new, that looks like a pretty bad track record.

The “woman from the city coming back to her small hometown” cliché

Out of all the clichés that Hallmark includes in their movies, this is the one that is probably used the most. It’s as predictable as it sounds; a woman who currently lives in the city goes back to her small hometown for a variety of reasons. Once there, she realizes that she’d rather stay in her small hometown than go back to the city. I’m guessing that this cliché was once an important plot component before it received its current status. Whenever it’s included in a film, it makes that picture ten times more predictable. Even though this cliché can be found in a variety of Hallmark’s films, I’ve mostly seen it within their Christmas movies, with Christmas Wonderland being a recent example. I doubt that the “woman from the city coming back to her small hometown” cliché will go away anytime soon. But it would be nice if Hallmark explored other stories from different perspectives.

Royally Ever After poster — *Royally Ever After* poster created by Crown Media Family Networks and Hallmark Channel. Image found at https://www.crownmediapress.com/Shows/PRShowDetail?SiteID=142&FeedBoxID=845&NodeID=302&ShowType=&ShowTitle=Royally%20Ever%20After&IsSeries=False.

What are your thoughts on my list? Which cliché from a Hallmark movie is your least favorite? Share your thoughts in the comment section!

Have fun at the movies!

Sally Silverscreen

The Top 10 Worst Movies I saw in 2018

On December 31, 2018April 8, 2019 By 18cinemalane5 Comments

Like I said in my post of The Top 10 Best Movies I saw in 2018, I’ve had a pretty good year in terms of movie-viewing. However, there were a few “stinkers” along the way. All movie bloggers will, inevitably, come across at least one film that either lets them down or was just less-than-stellar. This leads me to talk about this list of movies before 2018 is over. As the title suggests, the Top 10 Worst Movies I saw in 2018 will be discussed in this post. This list is very similar to the list of the best films I saw in 2018, where the list is based on my opinion and movies that I have personally seen. Also, like I said in my aforementioned list, this list was not created to be mean-spirited or negative toward anyone’s opinions/cinematic preferences. It is just a way for me to be honest about some of the films I saw in 2018. Now, let’s start off this list by looking at 2018’s Dishonorable Mentions:

One Winter Weekend, Frozen in Love, Love at Sea, Lilith, Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe, Mingle All the Way, and Island of Grace (this movie was so bad, I could only sit through about 5 minutes of it)

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Now, let the official list of 2018’s worst movies begin! Starting with number 10:

10. Marrying Mr. Darcy

I’m going to be honest; I thought Unleashing Mr. Darcy was decent, at best. Therefore, I was not asking Hallmark to give this movie a sequel. However, I was hoping Marrying Mr. Darcy would be better than the first movie, so this series could grow and progress as time went on. Unfortunately, that was not the case. As I’ve mentioned before, one of my least favorite Hallmark movie clichés is the “planning-a-wedding-in-an-unrealistic-time-period” cliché. In Marrying Mr. Darcy, this cliché serves as the film’s plot. The dog-show element of Unleashing Mr. Darcy’s narrative was something that I really liked about the first movie, as dog-shows had not been featured in a Hallmark movie until that film. But, in Marrying Mr. Darcy, dog-shows are pretty much non-existent, taking away an important part of the first movie’s identity. If I had liked or loved Unleashing Mr. Darcy anywhere near as much as other people did, maybe I would find Marrying Mr. Darcy to be more disappointing that it was. But, because I wasn’t really a fan of the first film, its sequel received a low placement on this list.

9. Christmas on Holly Lane

In 2018, I watched about 19 newly released Christmas films. Out of all of those, Christmas on Holly Lane was the worst one. As I said in my review, Christmas is given such little emphasis in the story. This movie also has an assortment of other issues that I talked about in my review, from too much focus on the “doom and gloom” of the protagonist’s realities to having too many plots. What’s really disappointing about this specific placement is this is the second year in a row where my least favorite Christmas movie of the year has been an UP Network movie (I also didn’t like The Christmas Calendar). This channel has what it takes to create films that are really good in quality. So, hopefully, in 2019, UP Network can put together a movie that doesn’t end up on my Worst Movies of the Year list.

8. Waffle Street

Yet, another movie I’ve reviewed that joins the list. What’s so disappointing about Waffle Street, even more disappointing than movies 10 and 9, is the movie is based on a true story. Not only that, the story itself sounds really fascinating. Too bad the movie was no where near as interesting. The biggest problem with Waffle Street is the poor execution that was placed on the film. This led the movie to have creative issues, such as very little character development and a toilet scene that went too far. While the cast in Waffle Street did a pretty good job with the acting material they were given, there was nothing anyone could do to save this film. Maybe if this story was placed into the hands of a network like Hallmark, the movie could have done this true story justice.

7. The Graduate

I am fully aware that this choice is going to be controversial, especially since The Graduate is well-liked by a lot of people and is ranked in the Top 10 of AFI’s Top 100 Movies of All Time list. But, as I reflect on this film, I can’t help but wonder why this movie was made and what the creative team behind this movie was trying to say to its respective audience. To me, the majority of The Graduate feels like it was a product of its time. Also, there are several elements within this movie that feel like they were incorporated just for the sake of shock value. When I think about The Graduate, as well as the other movies I’ve seen in 2018, I’ve come to realize that I’m not a fan of the story-telling trope where situations or things are placed in a film just for the sake of shock value/ getting a reaction out of the audience. I will admit that Simon and Garfunkel have some really good songs, but I just think that their music felt out of place in this movie.

6. Collateral

This movie has the distinction of getting worse as the story goes on. What starts out as an intriguing, action-packed mystery story slowly turns into a philosophical discussion on why people do the things they do. The character of Vincent is more annoying than menacing, with things happening way too conveniently in his favor. Similar to what I said about Waffle Street, I think the cast did a good job with the acting material they were given. But, also like I said about Waffle Street, there was nothing anyone could do to save this film. I won’t spoil this movie for you (even though I would not recommend this film), but all I will say is the ending was way too ridiculous for my liking.

Waffle Street poster — *Waffle Street* poster created by MarVista Entertainment. Image found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Waffle_Street_Official_Movie_Poster.jpg

5. Saturday Night Fever

Yes, another controversial choice for this list, especially because of how well-liked this movie is and how iconic this film’s opening scene is. When you take away the acting (which was good), the dancing sequences (which were really good), and the soundtrack (which is great), you are left with a movie that feels very long, is filled with unlikable characters, and has way too much swearing for my liking. I saw this movie on television and there was so much swearing in this film, I honestly thought the audio on my TV was broken. Another thing I’d like to add is the film’s climax is so predictable, that I, personally, didn’t find it to be emotionally affective. In 2018, I found out Saturday Night Fever was given a sequel a few years after its 1977 release. However, I have no intention of watching this sequel because a) I’ve heard a lot of negative things about the film and b) I didn’t like Saturday Night Fever anywhere near enough to want to give the sequel a chance.

4. Logan Lucky

Out of all the movies on this list, Logan Lucky is the only one that I just couldn’t finish watching. Maybe if I had finished watching it, the movie probably would have ended up in the Top 3. The biggest fault of Logan Lucky is how boring of a movie it is. Despite the fact that this a heist film, there is no excitement to be found. I will admit that this movie had the pieces to, potentially, be a good film. Unfortunately, because of a poorly written script, this entire concept was really poorly executed. Even as I start to think about the Top 3 Worst films I saw in 2018, I’m still trying to figure out how Logan Lucky received a score of 92 to 93 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

3. Menu for Murder

This is a Lifetime movie from 1990 that I’m not sure how many people are aware of. What enticed me to watch this film was how similar the synopsis sounded to the mystery films on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. Also, Menu for Murder had an interesting concept (a murder that takes places amongst a PTA group) set against an interesting backdrop (Encino, California). With all of those pieces put together, this movie sounded like something I would like; an engaging mystery story that has a good amount of creativity. But, all of this potential was wasted on a poorly written script. Not only was the mystery itself very lackluster, but all of the characters in the PTA group were defined by stereotypical personalities. The film’s climax was not suspenseful at all, but instead silly, over-the-top, and ridiculously bad to the point of not taking the climax seriously. To me, this was the most disappointing movie I saw in 2018.

2. Yes, I Do

If you have followed my blog for a significant period of time, you would have seen this movie coming a mile a minute. While Yes, I Do is the worst Hallmark movie I saw in 2018, it is now the second worst Hallmark movie I’ve ever seen (bumping Firelight off of my Top 10 Worst Hallmark Movies of All Time list). As I said in my review, this movie was so bad, I had to fast forward through certain parts of the movie just to get through it. The film’s narrative is not good, even by made-for-TV movie standards. There were other issues I had with this movie as well, from a very unlikable protagonist to really poor screen-writing. Like I also mentioned in my review, this is the second year in a row where Hallmark’s “June Weddings” line-up ended with a movie that I didn’t like. Hopefully, in 2019, the last “June Weddings” movie can help the line-up end on a positive note.

1. The Birds

This has got to be the most controversial choice on this list. When I think about the movies I saw in 2018, The Birds is the only one to truly make me feel like I wasted my time watching it. Prior to seeing this film, I had watched Rear Window, Psycho, and Strangers on a Train. Because of this, I was familiar with the directing style of Alfred Hitchcock and the cinematic tone of his films. However, The Birds ended up being a 2-hour, slow, and boring build-up to absolutely nothing. No plot twist, no shocking ending, no explanation for why the birds were causing so much chaos in the first place. Nothing. For me, it felt like all of the characters were placed within this narrative just because they were obligated to be there. Their dialogue and subplots did not interest me at all. The only parts of the film that I liked were anytime at least one bird showed up, as the love birds leaning in the direction of the car’s turns was one of the best scenes in this film (because it was that hilarious). While I am all for watching Hitchcock’s films with an open mind, I feel bummed out that, in 2018, I found a Hitchcock film that I didn’t like.

Yes I Do poster — *Yes, I Do* poster created by Crown Media Family Networks and Hallmark Channel. Image found at https://www.hallmarkchannelpress.com/Shows/PRShowDetail?SiteID=142&FeedBoxID=845&NodeID=302&ShowType=&ShowTitle=Yes%2c+I+Do

What did you think of my list? What is the worst film you saw in 2018? Please share your thoughts in the comment section!

Have fun in 2019!

Sally Silverscreen

The Top 10 Worst Hallmark Movies of All Time

On June 22, 2018April 18, 2019 By 18cinemalane16 Comments

Recently, I came to the realization that I’ve now published 50 posts (my Waffle Street movie review was my 50^th post)! In honor of this accomplishment, I decided to do something different from the usual content I have been posting on 18 Cinema Lane. I’ve been wanting to make this list for a while and I only found one other list of its kind on the internet (besides mine, of course). By reading the title, you know that this post is going to be all about the ten worst Hallmark movies I’ve ever seen. Before I start naming the movies that are guilty of earning my dislike, I just want to make it clear that this entire list is not only based on my opinion, but also on the movies that I have personally seen. Also, the purpose of this list is not for me to be mean-spirited, but rather for me to express my pure honesty. With each of my Top 10 picks, I will also suggest which movies you should watch instead, as a way to introduce you to movies that I think are better alternatives than the ones on my Top 10 list. Now, let me take a moment to name the Dishonorable Mentions. These are movies that I thought were bad, but not enough to be Top 10 worthy:

The Last Cowboy, Wishing Well, Gift of the Magi, Class, Accidentally in Love, Oliver’s Ghost, A Christmas Wish, The Music Teacher, The Nearlyweds, Space Warriors, The Good Witch’s Wonder, Wedding Planner Mystery, The Memory Book, I Do, I Do, I Do, So You Said Yes, Merry Matrimony, Karen Kingsbury’s The Bridge Part 1, Surprised by Love, Love on the Air, Signed, Sealed, Delivered: From Paris With Love, Dater’s Handbook, Ms. Matched, Summer Villa, A December Bride, Love You Like Christmas, Murder She Baked: A Peach Cobbler Mystery, Flower Shop Mystery: Mum’s The Word, Signed, Sealed, Delivered: From The Heart, JL Family Ranch, The Irresistible Blueberry Farm, Death Al Dente: A Gourmet Detective Mystery, Hailey Dean Mystery: Murder, With Love, Love Blossoms, My Favorite Wedding, Falling For Vermont, All Of My Heart: Inn Love, Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Higher Ground, Murder She Baked: Just Desserts, Hailey Dean Mystery: Dating Is Murder, A Song For Christmas, Frozen in Love, One Winter Weekend, Home by Spring, Marrying Mr. Darcy, and A Painted House

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s dive into the official list, starting with number 10:

10. Firelight

Released shortly after A Smile as Big as the Moon (one of my favorite Hallmark Hall of Fame movies), I was hoping Firelight would help the wave of Hallmark Hall of Fame’s (HHoF) greatness grow. Sadly, this movie made that wave crash onto the shore. The story was too basic for a typical HHoF movie and the storyline about the young women volunteering to be firefighters didn’t seem to lead anywhere. Also, the characters were so forgettable, that I don’t even remember their names. Cuba Gooding Jr. is a good actor, but there wasn’t much he could do to save this film.

Instead, watch: Blind Spot (as of June 2018, it’s available on Hallmark Movies Now), A Smile as Big as the Moon (also on DVD and Hallmark Movies Now (as of June 2018))

9. A Family Thanksgiving

I’ve heard some people say that this movie was originally created to be a Lifetime movie, but since I haven’t found any confirmation about this, I’ll keep A Family Thanksgiving on my list. This movie has three offenses against it, which are:

Shamelessly rips off Lifetime’s Holiday Switch
Contains some content that would normally not be allowed in a Hallmark movie
Makes so few references to the Thanksgiving holiday, that this exact same plot could have been placed in any time of the year and not make any amount of difference

Instead, watch: An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving (available on DVD)

8. When Calls the Heart (2013)

This movie had one of the worst instances of false advertising in Hallmark movie history. All of the marketing for this movie made it seem like Maggie Grace and Stephen Amell were the main stars of the film, with Lori Loughlin in a prominent supporting role. When I did see When Calls the Heart, Maggie and Stephen ended up portraying two supporting characters whose stories were told through a series of flashbacks, with Lori featured in about the last five minutes of the film. The other problems this film had were very slow pacing and an unnecessary cliffhanger ending. No wonder it felt like When Calls the Heart’s first season was trying to rewrite the show’s history, to separate themselves as far as possible from this movie.

Instead, watch: The When Calls the Heart television show and/or its accompanying movies (When Calls the Heart: New Year’s Wish, When Calls the Heart Christmas, and When Calls the Heart: The Christmas Wishing Tree. Only When Calls the Heart: The Christmas Wishing Tree is not available on DVD, as of June 2018. Seasons 1 through 4 are available on DVD)

7. Our Wild Hearts

This movie has almost every “horse movie” cliché you can think of. Cambrie Schroder does the best she can with the acting material she is given, but the character development of her character, Willow, is sloppy and all over the place. Also, just because a character mentions they’re a dancer (only once throughout the film), that doesn’t justify throwing in a random dance scene into the story. Similar to what I said about Firelight, Ricky Schroder is a good actor, but there was not much he could do to save this film.

Instead, watch: Flicka: Country Pride (available on DVD)

6. Date with Love

I have never seen a movie about the prom that was actually good. Date with Love was not the movie to change my mind about that. The story itself felt like it was told a few years too late, with more people in 2016 putting a bigger emphasis on “promposals”. Even though Shenae Grimes-Beech is a good actress, her character was very unlikable. Alex (Shenae’s character) seemed too immature for a character her age. Also, there were several events in this movie that were so unrealistic, it took me out of the film (and I am more than willing to suspend my disbelief for a Hallmark movie).

Instead, watch: Summer of Dreams (available on DVD)

44808-O4G0M1 — Movie themed image created by Freepik at freepik.com. <a href=’https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/red-cinema-ribbon-with-movie-elements_847136.htm’>Designed by Freepik</a>. <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-photos-vectors/frame”>Frame vector created by Freepik</a>. Image found on freepik.com.

5. The Mystery Cruise

I once read online that this movie could have been the start of a television series. Honestly, I’m glad it wasn’t. With bad special effects in-between scenes and a story that was stuffed with characters and stories, the worst offense this movie makes is revealing the whodunit, howtheydunit, and whytheydunit shortly after a mystery was introduced. This takes the fun right out of solving the mystery alongside the protagonists and watching this movie at all.

Instead, watch: Any of the mystery series on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries (Garage Sale Mystery, Aurora Teagarden, Hailey Dean, etc. Some of the mystery movies from this network are available on DVD)

4. Love by the Book

This is so far the first and only Hallmark movie that made me want to fall asleep. The story was very dull and the main character was too immature for someone her age, making her very unlikable. Also, when the protagonist keeps getting called “book goddess”, it was so cheesy that it became disgusting.

Instead, watch: A Novel Romance (available on DVD)

3. Northpole

This movie was so bad, that I could only sit through about 12 minutes of it (yes, you read that right). The acting was bad, the special effects were even worse, and the three separate stories didn’t seem to mesh very well. The dialogue was too cringy for a typical Hallmark movie’s standards and I felt that Santa was barely in the film despite being a movie titled Northpole.

Instead, watch: Charming Christmas (available on DVD)

2. Good Witch: Spellbound

This movie is the reason why I don’t watch the Good Witch television show anymore. Starting in the show’s third season, I felt that the writing became really bad. So, I watched Good Witch: Spellbound with an open mind, hoping it would be so good, that it would give me a reason to continue watching the show. Unfortunately, this was not the case, as you can see from the movie’s appearance on my list. The writing was the worst part of this film, with beloved characters evolving for the worse and sometimes being given terrible subplots. Nick’s sole purpose in this movie of him trying to scare his dad is a good example of this. Also, this movie has one of the worst reveals in Hallmark movie history.

Instead, watch: The Good Witch movie franchise (some of the movies are available on DVD), Season 1 and 2 of Good Witch (which are both available on DVD), Good Witch: Halloween (available on the Season 2 DVD) and Good Witch: Secrets of Grey House (available on the Season 3 DVD)

1. Back When We Were Grownups

Where the heck do I begin with this movie? For starters, the character of Rebecca Davitch is one of the worst protagonists in Hallmark movie history, mainly because she doesn’t do anything in the film that seems memorable or note-worthy. The family seems dysfunctional just for the sake of it, with the cast having little material to work with. As a Warehouse 13 fan, I was excited to see Allison Scagliotti’s performance in this film, but, unfortunately, she was featured in this movie for about two minutes or less. Back When We Were Grownups doesn’t run on a plot or storyline, but rather on the reactions of (mostly) the main protagonist (who doesn’t seem to put in a lot of effort into solving her family’s dysfunctionality). Remember, you know a Hallmark movie is bad when a birthday banner says “Happy 100th Poopy” instead of “Happy 100th Poppy” and no one seems to care.

Instead, watch: The Beach House (available on DVD August 7^th, 2018)

Happy Birthday Poopy sign photo — To this day, it still amazes me that this actually existed in a Hallmark movie and no one seemed to notice. Screenshot taken by me, Sally Silverscreen.

What do you think of my list? What is the worst Hallmark movie you’ve ever seen? Share your thoughts in the comment section!

Have fun at the movies!

Sally Silverscreen