I’m going to be honest with my readers; in 2023, I saw more movies I disliked than liked. Luckily, I saw enough films to create a top ten best movies of the year list! When it comes to the movies I disliked, the majority of these titles were disappointing or average. This is different to my list of the worst movies of 2022. What’s also different about this year’s list is how my top three worst films are not all Hallmark projects. Like I have said in past lists, my top ten worst movies I saw in 2023 list is not intended to be mean-spirited, negative, or disrespectful. It’s just a list of my own, honest opinion. Since I reviewed some of the movies on my list, I will provide the links to those reviews in this article.
Dishonorable Mentions
Family History Mysteries: Buried Past, Sea Change, Murder 101: College Can Be Murder, Murder 101: The Locked Room Mystery, She Inherited Danger, My Diary of Lies, Double Nickels, A Zest for Death: A Hannah Swensen Mystery, Blackbeard, the Pirate, Christmas at Castle Hart, Shadow Island Mysteries: Wedding for One, and A Hidden Life (I turned this movie off after 42 minutes)
10. The Curse of Frankenstein
After I watched and reviewed Frankenweenie, I was hoping the creative team of The Curse of Frankenstein would follow Mary Shelley’s source material closer than the Disney animated film did. Instead of doing that, they relied more on creative liberties. As I said in my review of The Curse of Frankenstein, I found this distracting, especially since I read the book prior to watching the film. Some of these creative liberties were adopted just for the sake of it. One of them was presenting Victor Frankenstein’s creature as a bumbling, destructive machine. This creative decision was a disservice not only to Mary Shelley’s work, but also to Christopher Lee, the actor who portrayed Frankenstein’s creature.
Take 3: The Curse of Frankenstein Review
9. The Last Child
I selected The Last Child for the Futurethon blogathon because of the film’s creative presentation; a futuristic story surrounded in a “contemporary” aesthetic. Unfortunately, the creativity of the 1971 made-for-TV movie didn’t reach beyond the surface. Despite the concern of population control within the story, there was little sense of urgency. That caused the movie to have too many low-stakes. It also didn’t help how the future in The Last Child wasn’t explained. This is another television film from the ‘70s that failed to impress.
8. A Walk in the Spring Rain
Out of all the movies I saw and reviewed this year, A Walk in the Spring Rain is the most flavorless film. Even though this is a movie where the audience waits for the inevitable to happen, the meandering nature of the script forces viewers to focus on drawn-out subplots, such as the protagonists’ daughter, Ellen, thinking about law school. What adds to the film’s meandering nature are stretched out scenes, making A Walk in the Spring Rain feel longer than necessary. Like I said in my review of the 1970 production, every beloved film star has at least one project on their IMDB filmography that is lesser known. For Ingrid Bergman, A Walk in the Spring Rain is one of her more forgettable films.
Take 3: A Walk in the Spring Rain Review
7. Carrot Cake Murder: A Hannah Swensen Mystery
In 2023, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries released two new chapters in the Murder She Baked/Hannah Swensen series: Carrot Cake Murder: A Hannah Swensen Mystery and A Zest for Death: A Hannah Swensen Mystery. While I found both entries disappointing, Carrot Cake Murder: A Hannah Swensen Mystery was the most disappointing movie out of the two. Other than solving a mystery, this story didn’t progress the series forward. Something happens in Mike and Hannah’s relationship that is resolved in A Zest for Death: A Hannah Swensen Mystery. This made Carrot Cake Murder: A Hannah Swensen Mystery an even more pointless chapter in the series. If you’ve never watched the Murder She Baked/Hannah Swensen series, skip this film, as you wouldn’t be missing much.
Take 3: Carrot Cake Murder: A Hannah Swensen Mystery Review
6. Silent Night, Fatal Night
Silent Night, Fatal Night is a Lifetime movie that is basically a gender-swapped, Christmas version of Misery, with a bit of a twist. Unlike the 1990 film, almost every character in Silent Night, Fatal Night makes one dumb decision after another. While the antagonist in the Lifetime film was unsettling, he was more annoying. Plus, I found it difficult to believe the protagonist, a mystery author, wouldn’t have more intuition to save herself. This isn’t the first time Lifetime has told a story similar to Misery. However, I wish the network would create stories that are less reminiscent of other, better movies from the 1990s.
5. Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter
Chosen for the Fifth So Bad It’s Good Blogathon, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter was built on a gimmick. Instead of embracing the silliness of that gimmick, the movie’s creative team took their project a little too seriously. Their project was misleading as well, no friendship or romance forming between Jesse and Frankenstein’s granddaughter. Though Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter is classified under the western and horror genre, the western genre is emphasized more, preventing a balance between the two genres. The 1966 film is not my “so bad it’s good” movie. Since I did giggle a few times while watching it, I took a step in the right direction to find my “so bad it’s good” film!
Take 3: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter Review
4. Jesse Stone: Night Passage
For me, 2023 was not the year for mysteries, as the top four worst movies on my list are mystery films. The main issue with Jesse Stone: Night Passage is how none of the detectives do any detective work. What they do instead is pull assumptions out of their pockets, with those assumptions being conveniently correct. Subplots were prioritized over the mystery itself. This creative decision caused the story to lack any sense of urgency. It was nice to see familiar faces like Saul Rubinek (who portrayed Artie on Warehouse 13) and Liisa Repo-Martell (who portrayed Maida Flynn on Emily of New Moon). Sadly, there wasn’t much the cast could do to save Jesse Stone: Night Passage.
3. Mount Hideaway Mysteries: Heartache and Homecoming
This movie is so bad, it was, at times, unintentionally funny. Parts of the script reminded me of The Cookie Mobster, with the screenwriters not displaying an understanding for how some things worked. One such example is how Game Boy Color video game consoles were incorporated into the story. The film was riddled with other flaws, such as the color of a character’s earrings changing from scene to scene. Another, more consistent, flaw was telling instead of showing, like other characters mentioning how good looking the male protagonist is every time he appears in a scene. Also, just because the protagonist is a veterinarian does not mean she has to hold an animal every time a scene takes place at the veterinary clinic.
2. The Abigail Mysteries
I have never reviewed or talked about a movie from Great American Family on 18 Cinema Lane. So, it’s a shame that when I do talk about one of their movies, it’s because the project is bad. It is possible to create a good mystery story with elements of faith. But because The Abigail Mysteries heavily prioritized the elements of faith, the mystery was overshadowed, causing the overall story to lack a sense of urgency. From no on-screen chemistry to inconsistent audio quality, The Abigail Mysteries was filled with flaws. There were even times when actors would deliver their lines too quickly, making it difficult to understand what they were saying. I know this is the network’s first attempt at making a mystery movie. But if Great American Family is serious about creating more mystery projects, their efforts need to be better than The Abigail Mysteries.
1. Mystery Island
This is the second year in a row where a newly released Hallmark Movies & Mysteries movie is the worst film I saw. With Hallmark no longer prioritizing the mystery genre, I can’t say I’m that surprised. The poor writing is the biggest problem of Mystery Island. The mystery’s reveal is so ridiculously written, it makes the entire story feel pointless. Emilia Priestly, the film’s protagonist, has a legitimate reason to get involved in the movie’s mystery, as she is a psychiatrist for Scotland Yard. Instead of using her skills to solve the case, Emilia a) flips through books, b) eavesdrops on other characters’ conversations, and c) follows people into the jungle and runs out of that same jungle in wedge sandals. I’d like to think Hallmark will find the motivation to create better mystery productions. But as of late 2023/early 2024, I’m not getting my hopes up.
Have fun in 2024.
Sally Silverscreen